Synchronicity
I was reading a book on male/female relationships over the weekend, and the book mentioned something I'd read about many times: synchronicity of body language.
When two people aren't that into each other, one of them is likely to start to glance away, then slide a foot back, then slowly turn away, then, yanno, bolt for the door.
When two people are into each other, they lock gazes, they turn toward each other, they lean forward, they reach for their drink/machete/whatever at the same time, they cross/uncross arms/legs at the same time, and so on.
Probably you already know this, I don't know. In any case, it's hard to describe synchronicity of body language in a romance novel without sounding like clunky stage directions. (And when John touched his ear with his left hand... so did Mary!!!)
But one thing the book talked about that I hadn't really put thought to was the idea of synchronicity of language. If one person refers to children as kids/rugrats/kiddos/munchkins/brats/babies, so might the other one. Two people in luuurve use the same phrases, keywords, inside jokes.
And that seems possible to put on the page...
YOUR TURN: What do you think? Have you witnessed or experienced synchronicity (or a distinct lack thereof) in real life? How about in a book you were reading/writing? I'd love to hear your feedback!
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11 comments:
I think you do at least start to speak the language. You or he may have called kids, children, but at some point one of you will begin to use the others term. Not just in children, but other words also.
So...E, does any of this apply???
Can't wait to see you, it seems like forever.
hehehehehehe
I totally read the same book and all I can say is: mood. As in, "I'm in a mood tonight."
ROFLMAO
V: Of course I use his words. It's called Spanish.... hehehehehe ;)
L: bwa
E - I didn't say language...heehee...
Wonder how many text there'll be during nationals...I
True dat. I better get good cell reception in the assembly rooms... (What?! I can't text my nbf during the Ritas?!)
FFIW, in my recent two-week marathon book the h/h quickly find they often don't even need to use language to communicate - they can just look at one another and know what they're both thinking. So if spoken it would be "synchronicity of lanugage," but in this case is more like synchronicity of thought. Sorta like telepathy, except that they're not reading each other's thoughts so much as just thinking the same thing at the same time.
Which kinda speeds up the whole romantic interaction - the thought becomes father to the deed, as it were. :)
That's true re: thinking the same thing at the same time. This happens with close friends/family, too.
Last night, NBF and I were sitting on a couch watching movies with another couple. At one point, something happened which instantly brought a smartass comment to mind. I couldn't voice this comment aloud b/c of the presence of the other couple, but I glanced at NBF out of the corner of my eye... only to see him fighting making the same comment himself. Neither of us said what we were thinking, but we cracked up laughing anyway, b/c it was obvious we were thinking the same exact thing. (The other couple just ignored us. They think we're crazy.)
Good sign, E! You and the "N"BF are just like my h/h! I can practically write the rest of your story with my eyes closed...oh, wait, I already did that. :)
After 20 years together, my husband and I certainly seem to speak a language all our own, and often read one another's minds. Of course, sometimes we DON'T, and that can be a source of conflict.
Great observation...both for showing a couple falling in love and for revealing the bumps along the way!
I've been on both sides of the chasm on this one. My husband and I have syncronicity. Sometimes we even begin to say the same thing at the same time. I've also been in relationships where there wasn't any syncronicity, and those where there was at teh beginning, but it died somewhere along the way. I think it's absolutely necessary to a good relationship, and I'm so happy to read you're getting it with the NBF. =o)
What a great topic. Sorry I didn't get a chance yesterday to chime in. With my daughter's sensory integration dysfunction, I'm a "coregulator" for her. That means I help her regulate herself sensory-wise. Her pediatrician talks about biorhythms and how we probably operate very similarly because I carried her for nine months. We also talk about how my mom is a great coregulator, probably because of the same thing - she carried me for nine months and it sort of passes through to Quinn rhythmically. Does that sound hokey? It's true though. Not the same thing as what you're saying, but I think living with people establishes a natural rhythm that evidences itself in speech, action, thought, you name it.
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