A Writer Writes, therefore:
I must be a super-slacker. I haven't written in so long, I don't even know where to begin anymore.
OK, lie. I should begin with the finished book I'm allegedly rewriting, then move on to the half-finished book I'm allegedly, er, finishing, then turn to the plotted book I spent months stressing over and dreaming about.
So I guess it's not that I don't have an action plan. It's that I don't have... well, action.
And it's not because I'm sitting around painting my nails (not that there's anything wrong with that) or wasting hours on end watching TV (and again, there are quality programs out there worthy of the lost time) or anything like that... in fact, I can barely squeeze in time to eat (I had a frozen dinner this week for the first time in months--and I actually had to stop by the store to buy it because I don't keep them in the freezer) or exercise (I bet the bike trail near my house thought my roller blades ran away with my Richard Simmons dvd) or studies (I had this lofty goal of improving my French and learning conversational Italian by, yanno, March... not lookin' good.)
No, what's been keeping me crazy busy is a) work (which would be incredibly stupid for me to give up), and b) people. Living, breathing, human people. Friends. (And a NBF who in a vague, not-sure-it-counts sort of way, forgot the N this weekend and referred to himself as a BF... but that's another story.)
I've been meeting new people and seeing movies with friends and dressing up like Madonna from her Desperately Seeking Susan days (80s party!!) and generally trading in my natural introverted tendency to never leave the comfort and safety of my office chair for the excitement and chaos of a busy social calendar. (To those of you who know me well: No, I still cannot be trusted to read a calendar with any level of accuracy, so believe me when I say much hilarity and gnashing of teeth has ensued.)
Point being... none of this is writing. I can't even call it "refilling the well", because after (oh God--has it really been more than 3 months??) the well ought to be overflowing by now.
What do you think? Should I swap the time I'm spending with living, breathing people for the ephemeral ones flickering and sputtering in my head? Should I block out time for writing (and eating and exercising) or should I just carry on with plan-less-ness and see what life brings me?
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16 comments:
Boy, I wish I had a good answer to this question.
If I were in your shoes, I think I'd try to force myself to find 30 minutes a day, five days a week to write. Mainly because, in my experience, the longer you don't write, the easier it becomes to keep not writing. (I did it--or didn't do it, depending on how you look at it--for more than a decade before the bug hit me HARD again.)
At the same time, though, I sometimes think if you're not at the point where you're machete anyone and anything that gets in the way of writing, you're still refilling the well (no matter how long it's been). Your mileage may vary :).
And hmmm, NBF referring to self as BF. Sounds like a Freudian slip to me!
Yeah, wish I had the magic answer to this too. I've been writing, but I'm still stuck in chapter one. Summer is tougher with both kids here and the activities runneth over (hello Girl Scout camp all week and I'm the leader!) But, I'm starting to feel rather frustrated if I don't write every day which means I'm on the cusp of really getting to it. At least I hope so.
I think Jackie may be on to something re: refilling the well regardless of time. That said, some scheduled time to do some of the things you miss (not just the writing) sounds like a great plan to me. But scheduled time means using a clock and a calendar...
Hey Mavens! Thanks again for last week, it was a blast and Erica I emailed you with my choice. :)
I also left my comment to this on your blog, but I'm with Jackie, find some time to write, that is part of your heart and soul and we want...no need to read your books.
Jackie: So true about the longer it goes without writing, the easier to keep not writing. I guess the bottom line is to make myself do a little bit, no matter how little that bit ends up being.
Darc: What strange language are you speaking? I don't understand these words "clock" and "calendar"...
I'm going to be the dissenting voice and say enjoy Real Life while it's so good you can't put it down. There will be time to escape into fantasy later - though, of course, I'm not wishing those kinds of times on you!
You know my feelings on revising expectations. Maybe yours need a little tweaking :-)
Vicki: Thanks for the encouragement!!!
Lace: Heh. I revised my expectations to expect 0 new words, and I ended up with... 0 new words. So I'm right on target, as far as that goes. I just feel a little guilty about my unwriterliness (and I do want to get my act together, which is hard to do with 0 output.) Then again, you make a great point about real life being impossible to put down... There's nothing I've been doing that I would trade that experience in for having eked out another scene, for example. Real life has been crazy, stressful, and super fun. (I know those first two adjectives make it sound like not so fun, but life in general can be crazy and stressful, whether it's being fun or not.) Off to re-revise expectations...
should I just carry on with plan-less-ness and see what life brings me?
I'm gonna take a contrarian point of view to Jackie, Darcy, and Vicki just because it's Monday and I'm feeling contrary. Not to them personally, of course, but just in general.
By way of background, I have recently spent two weeks in a cave, writing 8-10 hours a day non-stop. During that time I was conscious of glorious never-to-be-repeated high summer days passing by outside my window, not to mention life itself. But I couldn't help it. I was birthing a book, and, like childbirth itself, it's not a process in which you can just stop in the middle and go do something else for a while.
So here I am, 80,000 words later, and starting to send out queries. And wondering when I'm going to get a life again.
It seems to me, friend E, that you have a life in glorious abundance at this time, and my feeling is that you should continue to go with it. Your guardian genie is showering you so richly that it would be sheer ingratitude to tell her thanks anyway and can I go back to my writing cave now please. I say you're on a roll, and to stick with it.
*Bill goes back to his stack of query letters with a forlorn glance out the window at yet another gorgeous summer day passing him by*
Can you not do both? I'd frankly want it all if I were you.
I think I'm with Beverley! I think the one thing that I've tried to figure out is that if you're not writing, make the conscious decision not to write and then enjoy the heck out of it! If you're going to stress about not having written, then write if only for the sole reason of being able to enjoy everything else!
I wish I had an answer for you that didn't make me sound like my mother. (Not that her advice isn't good, it's just so... motherly.) I guess it's just where you are in your life and in your head at the time. I say if you're going to write just because you feel guilty about not writing, then don't. Find the joy you used to have in writing, then start again. Until then, hang onto the joy you have now. (Especially the NBF who sounds like he's starting to think of himself as more.)
(So much for not sounding like Mom. *shrug*)
Bill: 80k in 2 weeks makes me dizzy! Congratulations on a truly amazing output.
Your guardian genie is showering you so richly that it would be sheer ingratitude to tell her thanks anyway and can I go back to my writing cave now please.
I really like this point of view!!!
Beverley: LOL. I so want it all. Busted. =)
Carrie: Thanks, and good points. Life is for enjoying!
B.E.: You make a valid point about guilt not being the strongest reason to write. Your mother must be a smart woman!! =)
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