What Kind of Mood Do You Smell?

On Monday's post, B.E. commented:

While I was writing tonight, I discovered that I write using different senses for different scenes. I don't think you could write them all for every scene because it would be sensory overload. Think about the way you sense things in your life. At different times, different senses are prominent. First thing in the morning, you may be smelling the coffee brewing, or in the dark, only hearing things. So it is with your characters. Sometimes everything is moving so fast, only once sense comes into play.

As I said in the comments of that post, this gave me pause. When I went back to read the comment and put it in this post, however, I realized I'm not entirely sure why that comment made me think of something entirely -- well, almost, since I'm going to blog about it today -- unrelated.

When I got back my Release Your Inner Vixen comments, I had one repeating observation that really stood out. Judge A said, "The hero and heroine seem disconnected. We hear their emotions but don't feel them." Judge B said, "This was very well written, especially how you made the heroine fight to make the scene non-emotional, and in turn made her so rootable and real." Judge C said, "Love scene was so sad and dark for characters that it weakened the romantic and sexual tension. Suggest a bit more emphasis on the joy and pleasure they feel to balance the anguish, a hint more of the sweet in bittersweet."

In other words, when you put all their comments together you get the effect I was going for; that is, a deeply moving, dark, sad consummation of a love that must end... the finality of a love that cannot go on forever.

Which is awesome.

But not perfect. It looks to me like two of the judges were concerned about reader/character interaction. I think part of this is because at this point in the book, I figured the reader would already know how it feels to feel through the fierce, passionate, yet distanced heart of a warrior, and part of it is because I got so wrapped up in conveying emotion -- last week's topic -- that I forgot to convey the five senses.

One of the judges observed in another comment that we lose track of the setting very quickly. The room and the bed (which is never described aside from being in the room when she walks in) and the time of day (or night, as the case may be) and the season -- is it cold, warm, or raining outside? You don't know -- are all left out. If there is a fire in the grate, it's not warming the room. If there is there a rug on the carpet, it's not soft between the heroine's toes. Whether she's in a man's room or a woman's is not apparent, and with a cultural divide that kind of detail seen through her eyes might be interesting. What we do have is, very simply, two people existing in their own tiny, private universe for just one demanding and emotionally draining night.

In a sense, I wanted it that way. But I wasn't trying to lose the reader's connection to the story. The reader needs to feel like she's there with the characters, not watching from outside. Actually, that's probably backward in my case -- I need a little more of that instead of what I have. Right now, the reader IS the heroine, and the heroine isn't concerned with the size of the hero's, er, bed. The reader is trapped by the blinders of an emotion overdose.

I think. Or maybe Judge A just didn't get it and Judge C likes a lot of sexy description.

What do you think? Are emotions connected to the character's perception of what she or he hears/smells/tastes/touches/sees?