10 Sure-fire Ways to Drive Maven Lacey Crazy

Yesterday, I was chatting with a new acquaintance of mine, trying to nail down a mutually agreeable time we could meet up to play some pinball. Now, this person is notorious for no call / no show, so I wanted to be *sure* the time was agreeable. I didn't stop to wonder why I needed to know this person would show. To me, that was obvious. It's why they're called plans. You know, you plan them, and then they happen. Work the plan. Any changes to the plan need to be communicated in a timely fashion, to all parties, and should certainly be kept to a minimum. After all, changing the plan confuses people. It's frustrating. And if you can't look forward to what you're going to do at the end of the week, what's the point of going out on Friday, anyway? I mean, that IS the point, right? Good times will be had by all. You know it for a fact.

Never say there could be another point of view.

Are there people who actually thrive on not knowing what their Friday night will hold?

Apparently.

Who are they?

People *I* know?

I don't think so...

My friend IMed back: Never make (P)lans with a (P)erceiver! :-)

I IMed back: What is this crazy talk?

What I got in response sort of annoyed me. Nobody wants to think of herself as a (J)udger. How terribly unflattering.

So I googled it, having heard of the Myers Briggs assessment before, even if it didn't trip up instant recognition at the first mention. (I even wrote a blog about it a year ago.) Now, I've taken other types of assessments at work, as requirements for certain group projects. (See blog above.) I know my type. And no, it's not always flattering. But it's me and it makes sense to me and the rest of you...stop being so scatter-brained!

Well, being the type of person I am, I never really read through any of the other possible assessment outcomes. (And literally, that fits perfectly with the type of person I am.) Imagine my surprise when I read up on Perceivers. What craziness is this? People who don't wear watches!? People who thrive on chaos? People who celebrate their ability to generate creative ideas but shirk the responsibility of implementing them?! People who don't like to make plans way in advance, for fear of limiting their options as things come up?

That's insanity.

Or is insanity someone like me repeatedly trying to get someone like that to behave in the same way I expect myself to behave? Being the type of person that I am (and yes, this is in the type description nearly verbatim), having gained this new insight, I immediately revised my expectations so as to avoid generating the same unwanted outcome in the future. And, naturally, I phoned a friend to discuss. Because being the type of person I am, I like to talk my issues out, not sit alone with them and percolate.

Which basically started a flurry of interpersonal assessments that resulted in my reading a few other possible outcomes. You know, the ones I never had any interest in before. (Why? Well, if you guessed that perfectly matches my personality type...you're probably paying attention :-) ) All this reading up on various personality types -- ones that are eerily, freakily close to reality; so much so it's hard to believe anyone was able to nail down my and my friends' psychosis in so few words -- made me think about those authors who swear by Sun books or Sign books or that one book with all the hero / heroine combinations, whose name I can't remember (and as my personality type, don't care enough to look up because I trust someone else will supply the minutia). I've clearly never cracked one open before. I never thought I needed to. I mean, I've known enough people in my life to paint a few personality traits, right?

Or is that just my personality type talking? The one that says I can see the big picture, so why stress myself with the details? Or is getting the combination of your character's personality too much like having the answers to the test -- is it cheating to be able to conceive of how their internal clockwork ticks if you haven't even had a chance to get to know them yet?

YOUR TURN: Have you or do you use a personality book to help you craft your characters? Have you taken a Myers Briggs assessment (or other assessment), and if you have, were you surprised -- or freaked out -- by the results? Have you and your spouse / significant other / close friend ever taken a test together? Are you a Judger or a Perceiver?