Authenticity in Action

Ever forget to practice what you preach? Raises hand. I swear it was an accident. Recently a lovely writer friend of mine graciously read Her Wicked Ways. She had great things to say (yay!) about the last two-thirds. What about the first third? She found the pacing off. Too much introspection and non-relevant action. Oh no, but I try to balance action/introspection/dialogue! Remember AID? Uh, yeah, I guess I forgot. Or wasn't paying attention, more likely.

Regarding the introspection, I think I was in a rut of inner dialogue to replace action. In a character's POV scene, it's cool to ground their external dialogue with inner dialogue. Fun technique, but easy to overdo. Same with tagging external dialogue with action. We all know the pitfalls of arching brows, shrugging shoulders, and flexing fingers.

But I had plenty of non-arching/shrugging/flexing action! Except the action still wasn't tied to the goals of the scene. Whaaaa, you say? I'll give an example. I had a scene in which the hero and his mentor/best friend type discussed his romantic progress with the heroine using the miserable summer and the failing crops as the backdrop. The cold weather and disastrous planting play hugely into the hero's GMC. So, here they are checking out the fledgling plants that are woefully behind schedule and musing about the potential for a freeze that night. Out comes the heroine and conversation turns to her and blah, blah, wake up!

After my friend gave me her comments, I reread the first several chapters and immediately saw her point. When I got to this point in the story, I sat back for a moment and pondered how best to make the action in this scene more relevant. I mean, standing around talking about the weather is nowhere near as exciting as doing something about the weather. So if a freeze could be imminent, why not dump snow on them? Now. As in, we need to get these plants covered before the snow accumulates and kills the tiny sprouts! (Yes, Maven Carrie's technique of "how can I ruin my characters today" mentality was incredibly helpful and I want to give credit where it's due.) Now my scene had real action that mattered to the story. And the conversation that was there still happens, but it's more authentic. Yes, that's it, authentic.

So thank you dear friend/CP (you know who you are) for reminding me that action should be authentic for the scene and contribute conflict as well as interest. And thank you Maven Carrie for helping me torture my characters.

What do you do if a scene just doesn't have "it?" Do your scenes have authentic action that moves the story forward, that contributes to the purpose of the scene? How do you keep track of all the myriad things we aim to achieve in our writing?

Congrats to our friends over at Riding With the Top Down on your second anniversary! Speaking of anniversaries, the Mavens have been blogging for a year this week. Crazy, huh? Stay tuned for exciting anniversary happenings...